Letting it all out....

Hmmm where do I start? I am going to let you know how I am feeling because I think it is important for people to really know. I am not looking for sympathy or anything, I get asked every single day "how are you?" So I am going to tell you... (because I will always tell you I am good even if that isn't the case)

I am doing ok, it has taken me a while to process my new diagnosis. I try to be a super strong and positive person but I am like everyone else. I have my why me moments, my scared moments, my pissed off moments and my how am I going to get through this moments. But deep down I am still Liane and that doesn't change.

I think the biggest difference between this diagnosis and back in January of 2012 when I was diagnosed is that you now know what to expect this time and I think that is harder. When I went through this the first time I knew I would fight it and be a survivor it was just a matter of getting through the treatments. No matter how hard it was or how crappy I felt you just did it.

This time its a whole different ball game. When you are told that it has metastized and that it is in your bone, and then you ask what that means exactly and what I hear is "well we are just going to keep treating it." It just doesn't give you the same feeling you fell a bit defeated. I think the hardest part is that I know what to expect, and I told myself I would never go through this again. Here I am 1.5 years later going through radiation and chemo. I will not lie I am not looking forward to chemo at all, it sucks!!! With that said, I am going to do everything I can to be here for as long as I can.

I am going to do everything it takes to continue to live a healthy and enjoyable life.I am going to change my diet because that is one of the biggest things you can do. I am going to try alternative approaches and I am going to live my life for today. I am going to do this with the support from all of you. Thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts, prayers, jokes and listening to me.

Enjoy the hot sunshine the rest of the week :)

Love ya!